Hey Kids! Comics News! for August 12, 2021
“And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for he realized he had forgotten to read that day’s Hey Kids! Comics News!“
—Attributed to Plutarch
What would HK! CN!’s first week have been without every artist and writer you’ve ever heard of yielding to the warm embrace of Mother Substack? I can only speculate, but I suspect we would have been choking down a record-setting amount of clickbait. Like this:
You get no points for guessing that number one is the alien suit. The man goes around eating brains like it’s his job. His relationship with his mother probably informs that. You can have a good relationship with your mother or you can go around eating the brains of the unwary. You cannot do both. There’s no point in trying to build suspense about it, fellow content provider.
Substack has been an absolute treasure chest for this column thus far. Four days in, everything is still Substack, Substack, Substack. For instance, Rich Johnston wonders:
Turns out, they’re all sleeping just fine, although Scott Snyder is still anxious to make sure we know that a tower of creative splendor will be built upon the foundation of his pusillanimous betrayal of Batman and Superman. How could you, Scott. They are heroes.
Indeed, this “Substack” may not be the bed of roses that the traitor Snyder would lead us to believe, according to Rich Johnston. I surprise even myself by how quickly this column has been reduced to me just telling you about stuff I read on Bleeding Cool.
Yes, it seems that Substack has a troubling laissez-faire attitude when it comes to getting into bed with fascists, which Batman and Superman would never do, Scott Snyder. Well, maybe Batman would. In any case, I suppose I’m inclined to sympathize with the side that opposes doing business with people who do business with fascist hate-peddlers, but there’s an argument to be made that it’s a platform not a publisher and you can’t restrict speech and blah, blah, blah Mark Zuckerberg this and Twitter that. I wouldn’t make it, but someone would. And really, what’s worse—fascist hate speech or silly clickbait top-ten listicles about Eddie Brock’s bosom chums? The answer is fascist hate speech, obviously. Shame on you for even pausing to consider it. I thought better of you.
In happier news, Free Comic Book Day is this Saturday, and… Fungirl! Behave yourself!
Sheesh. Take that smut to Substack.
Meanwhile, someone besides Rich Johnston got to read some FCBD comics ahead of time and shared his thoughts:
Ahead of Free Comic Book Day, the Smithsonian has unveiled a stunning digital project in collaboration with the Ringling College of Art and Design showcasing women cartoonists. They really like to throw their weight around over there. Hey, we got some good stuff too, Smithsonian. I bet you don’t have those last five Sensational She-Hulk issues in your warehouse.
New Comic Series Presents Ten Visionaries and Rule Breakers in SAAM’s Collection | Smithsonian Magazine
Breaking: Hey Kids! Comics News! sources have confirmed that the last five Sensational She-Hulk issues were discovered this week behind a crate of used mopheads in a janitor’s closet at the Smithsonian.