It’s not the end of the world if it’s a little late! As Bob Layton famously said to Rob Liefeld while squatting in Liefeld’s home until the pencils to Deathmate: Prologue were completed: “Better Layton never!” Is it true that Liefeld responded, “Get out of my house, Bob, I’m trying to read Hey Kids! Comics News!” Don’t say it isn’t because you weren’t there!
Here’s one for your scrapbook: Store owner Drew is quoted in this Phoenix New Times article about Free Comic Book Day:
Come to the shop tomorrow for free comics (five titles per person, one issue per title, don’t try to trick us), stay for the 20% off storewide sale! Those Captain America by Dan Jurgens TPBs deserve a loving home like yours.
The first paragraph of this story takes a moment to appreciate what a rare privilege we have to witness a famous actor, after decades of thankless, bitter toil down among the glitz and glamour of Hollywood, break through to become a work-for-hire DC Comics writer. If Danny DeVito can do it, we can do it. Next stop: Tinseltown, and then on to the series of PODS serving as the DC offices on the Warner Brothers lot for that $18-per-page rate!
Method Man’s journey through the mid-life of the aging artist has entered that dark land where trend-setting fails and buzzwords prevail. We wish him well. But NFTs? Meth, how could you. NFTs are the natural enemy of the local comic book store. Here at HK! CN! HQ, we like our tokens like we like our women: fungible. Perhaps Raekwon the Chef would like to invest a little capital into a scrappy comics provider. At least buy a couple of Captain America by Dan Jurgens books, Kwon.
In this article dated six hours ago (as of this writing), the writer describes to his readers the plot of Ultimate Hulk vs. Wolverine #4, a comic published in 2009. That is entirety of the substance of the article. Reading it made my heart die.
I highlight this for you not only because the currency of this column is snarky brick-throwing, but also to note that websites shovel this sort of limp “content” out by the ton to trick us into clicking on them because they do not respect us. “Content” is corporate jargon that means “the crap we put between ads.” It’s a reductive term designed to devalue artists and writers by turning their work into a low-rate or no-rate commodity that exists only to occupy space between the ad at the top of the page and the ad at the bottom. This article barely even qualifies as that. The writer is reduced to a “content provider” and the reader is reduced to a series of click events that feed a spreadsheet of numbers that are presented to advertisers. When you see this kind of thing on a comic news site, remember: Comics deserve better than this. You deserve better than this.
In summary: FREE COMIC BOOK DAY 20% OFF STOREWIDE SEE YOU TOMORROW!