Kick Ash Comics News isn’t trapped in here with you. You’re trapped in here with Kick Ash Comics News!
That’s right, we re-branded!
Well! Looks like somebody forgot to read our column last week, and see what happened: Scandal and infamy. Do not invite Fungirl into your domain lightly, librarians, for she is a trickster goddess.
You might have assumed that the granddaughter in question would be related to the treacherous Bob Kane, but it turns out her grandfather was actually Malcolm Wheeler-Nicholson, an interesting dude who provides the rare example of a publisher being swindled out of the cash cow that the likes of Batman and Superman became (presumably before he himself had the opportunity to swindle people like Siegel and Shuster, but perhaps I’m being uncharitable). His is an interesting rabbit hole to go down if you find some time on your hands this weekend. Also, his granddaughter seems like a real cool chick.
Now this is—this is great news. It’s great news, okay? Reading these early works and watching Bendis develop—it’s fascinating. I am fascinated. Like watching-a-mermaid fascinated. His dialogue is—it’s—it’s unmistakable. Also easily parodied by chumps like me. Anyway, you should invest in these. Good stories about grifters, like, grifting. Doing whatever it is grifters do. Also: they are women. Noir women. I promise you will not regret reading these books.
Let it be known that Batman-is-a-pedophile-type observations are déclassé and beneath this column as a rule. It is a subject we do not bandy lightly. But sometimes on life’s journey you encounter a headline so stomach-turning it stops you in your tracks. This story notes, breathlessly, that the upcoming miniseries Robins will feature no less than five people Batman invited as children, unsupervised, into a secret cave beneath his home to dress up in outfits. Guess what? There may be a sixth! DC, think for a minute how stories like this sound to someone who isn’t neckbeard-deep in comics lore. The time to stop and re-examine the Robin idea was about three Robins ago.
This is unwelcome news. Ron Lim, every Captain America page you draw is a page of GRIPS that you did not draw. Withholding is a form of abuse. BRING BACK GRIPS! BRING BACK GRIPS! BRING BACK GRIPS!
One of the great injustices of comics, if not the greatest, is that the disuse of King Features characters deprives us of clickbait like “The 9 Most Withering Eyebrow Raises of Ming the Merciless,” or “This Is the Story That Proved Dale Arden Was Flash’s True Love,” or “Why Billy Zane Can Never Be Replaced As the Phantom.” Finally, our minds can be at peace.
Third issue of Joe Satriani’s sci-fi-themed comic book epic, Crystal Planet, open to orders now | Guitar World
“It’s just a lazy Mary Sue story,” Comics Reply Guy was heard to say as the Comics Welcome Wagon crushed Joe Satriani beneath its wheels. “What a hack.”
Will he explain how Professor X is able to wear that fishbowl on his head everywhere without his neck getting sore, or will that be a dangling plot thread? Stay tuned to Hey Kids! Comics News!
Gnarly New ‘Venom: Let There Be Carnage’ Poster Fuses the Two Monsters Together | BloodyDisgusting.com
This image captures Carnage and Venom in the fleeting moment before each realizes that their tongues are about to touch, and nothing will ever be the same.